Something else for the young lad on the town

Long time reader(s) or those who got really bored one day at work and went through the archives might recall that I'm willing to share my wisdom regarding how to be successful when wooing a lady.

So I've come up with a few more ideas in that vein. These are pick up lines that I have modified to be more modern or more successful. If you use these on the lady of your choice I guarantee results.

(Note that Professor Matthew has a much different definition of results than you may be thinking of. Also, this guarantee is useless in a court of law or a bar or the ladies room of a family restaurant, or anywhere else you go to pick up women).

So here are modern pick up lines for the modern randy lad (I leave it up to you to find the original if you are so inclined):

• If I told you that you have a beautiful body would you allow me to photograph it and post it to my facebook page?
• I hope you know CPR because in the current economic climate insurance rates are becoming cost prohibitive.
• Do you know karate? Because I bruise easily and would hate to be kicked.
• Are you from Tennessee? Because I hear Memphis has some really great bbq and I really like bbq.
• Baby, I'm no Fred Flinstone, because he is a fictional character and also quite a bit dated as a cultural reference at this point.
• Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my twitter username, could I borrow yours?
• Would you like a staring role in my next vlog?
• Is your father an investment banker? Because he must have acquired the stars through a ponzi scheme and put them in your eyes.
• Do fries come with that ass?

So there you go. Good luck and remember to get a DNA test before you admit to anything in a deposition.