Buy Sam a drink and get his dog one too!

If you don't recognize, you better do a search for Mike Lange.

Penguins win Lord Stanley's Cup!

Worship the Beard!

I was so nervous I couldn't bring myself to watch the game except to monitor the score online and through various other means. I turned it on literally two seconds after it ended. I'm a bad sports fan when I really care about it and find it best to watch alone or with other die hard fans. When it is just me and Wife, I quickly become a nuisance an a pain in the ass to be around. So since we were hanging out tonight, we watched other programming.

A close shave

If the Penguins had lost tonight and gone down 3 games to none then I would have shaved. But they pulled it off in overtime so there's still some magic left in these whiskers after all.

But I'd be lying if I didn't admit I'm concerned.

It's beard time of the year

If you are new here then allow me to explain something. I live in the South and love hockey. Some of my fondest memories of my youth are watching NY Islanders games with my dad on TV. Later he took me to a couple of games and we were still able to communicate about hockey even while I was going through the usual (and in my case unusual) issues of teen angst. We got to see Lemieux and Gretzky face each other one amazing night. So many goals were scored that we won free chili thanks to a local give away (ahhh, the magic of the chili goal).

With that introduction out of the way, the Pittsburgh Penguins clinched the playoffs. It looked rough there for a little while and firing the coach midseason (the same coach who took them to the Finals last year) seemed like a desperation move at the time.

But it seemed to light a fire under them. That and some key acquisitions at the trade deadline and they're in again this year.

With two games left in the season it's time for the growing of beards. In fact, a student already asked me why I hadn't started growing one yet. (Because you don't start until your team clinches. I'm not jinxing them).

Except this year there is a big but.

I have a wedding to attend in a few weeks. Now if it were within two weeks time or less then this wouldn't be an issue because it would not have had time to grow into something too fuzzy. But it is about a month away. I can grow some mean levels of hair in a month. And I actually like the couple getting married.

On top of that Wife is related to one of them. So I don't want to upset them or her. I've done that already. One of my Sisters got married and I had crazy long chin whiskers at the time. MANY comments were made during and afterward that I should been more "considerate" in my appearance. (On a side note this is not the only time my family has been upset at my appearance during an important gathering. At some point I need to tell the story of my bleached hair during my grandmother's funeral).

In fact, my telling this story will potentially result in Wife commenting on it again. Except that now I've typed it out so it might work as a whammy and she won't because she doesn't want to be predictable. Except that I've typed that out so it might work as a double whammy so she will. Except that would make her predictable in that direction. And she hates to be predictable.

The gist of all of this is this year it will have to be a playoff goatee. I know. I feel like I'm letting them down too. But something is better than nothing.

GO PENS!

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a professor

Wife's most recent description of me:

"You are a prodigiously hairy man."

She went on to ask what it is like to be so hairy.

Most of the time it is a lot of fun. But some days it is itchy. And it takes work.

To tell the truth there are days I wish I could shave it all off for a while and keep it clean. Lot less work. Clean shaven also makes me look even younger than I already do (last week someone told me they thought my age is ten years younger than it actually is). Much better than looking 10 years older than I am.

But the secret shame is I have a skin condition* that gives me dry patches in the mustache region. Most of the time it is not too bad but when it flares up it's a little gross. Mustache hair covers it easily. So shave and risk it or stay in a constant state of fuzz. Pretty easy choice.

*The weird thing is my skin condition is mostly seen in infants and senior citizens. I'm a genetic anomaly. I'm also really lazy about going to the doctor unless it involves bleeding that won't stop or coma-like conditions. So getting to the dermatologist just isn't a priority. Maybe I'll try after the semester ends.

Paying off on the vote

I got that shaving thing done over the weekend.

Thanks to all of you who voted.

I now look ready to tool about the countryside in my Duesenberg J Walker Legrande Torpedo Phaeton or to attempt to convert my textile firm to the new methods of assembledge line production. Perhaps over the summer I will visit the continent by steam ship.

And the winner is

The flu. Or whatever death bug I have caught. The inside of my mouth is tender from all the cough drops that I need to live. As a result the beard shaving is postponed till I am more laurel and hearty (yes, I know I'm ripping off Mel Brooks for that joke). The top voter was "Go to hell." Errr, I mean friendly mutton chops.

I'm just sick enough to be achy and annoyed. Not sick enough to say "screw the world. I'm staying on the couch with my movies and playstation." Wife has decided I'm going to the clinic if I don't get better soon though.

I'm not sure why she thinks I need to be "tutored" at the clinic. Course I'm a little congested I could be mishearing her.

Polls are still open

Voting so far:

Mutton chops: 4
Chin strap: 1
Van Dyke: 1

I have an official type event next Monday so I'll keep voting open till then I think. Tuesday will be the big shave morning.

When it's time to change

If you're a regular reader you are aware that I'm a man of many skills and growing facial hair is one of my best. But lately I've been feeling a little uncertain with regard to what to do next with it.

So I'm leaving it up to a vote by readers. Whatever the majority decides, I will do with my facial hair.

Wife has selected four options from the following illustration:

http://www.dyers.org/blog/beards/beard-type-chart/

The four finalists are:

Chin Curtain
Friendly Mutton Chops
Petit Goatee with mustache (technically a Van Dyke but the Van Dyke illustration isn't a Van Dyke)
Soul patch

So pick one of these four and vote for it in the comments section.

Yes, you can tell me which of the other options you'd rather see, but pick one of the four as well. And if you're wondering currently I'm closest to the Zappa currently.

Penguins update

They won their first series, sweeping the Ottawa Senators.

Not saying nothing, just providing the facts.

Show your love

It's playoff time in the NHL. Time to grow your beard.

That's right. If you're not aware of this practice, during hockey playoffs, you're not supposed to shave till your team is eliminated or wins the cup. Not all players participate but a lot do. In fact, at least some of the credit for the Anaheim Ducks winning last year should go to the impressive salt and pepper lumberjack look of Scott Niedermayer. A beard that impressive deserves rewarding.

I'm a Penguins fan. I can remember the night that they won their first Stanley Cup. I was so happy I called my dad. After all, it was watching the late 70s NY Islanders that sparked my interest in the sport. I don't think my dad was quite as excited as I was but he's not the biggest phone talker in the world so maybe if we were watching together it might have been a different story.

That's a long way to get to the gist of today's post. The Penguins' best player is a little challenged in the facial hair department. He's too young to grow much, though he is trying. So I'm pledging my help in that department. I'm not quite in the "shave twice a day" range but I'm not too far off. So I'm not shaving till the Penguins are out. Wife did insist that I trim it up a little so I won't be total mountain man.

I think she's just jealous that she can't grow her own.