I have a few ideas for blogs in the pipeline so those of you still reading have that to look forward to.
But how about a traumatizing story from my childhood in light of the holiday season?
The other day I realized just when I lost my chance to be cool as a child. In sixth grade I sat in the back of the bus. There were three of us who sat back there, Dean, Robbie, and myself. And those of you who rode buses to school understand the importance of the back seat. For those of you who don't, the back seat was reserved for the coolest kids on your bus route. Nobody messed with them, nobody bullied them. It was the top of the pecking order and those below you had to move up if they tried to take your place. All this despite transferring to my grade school from Catholic school and being a relative nerd (I was in my schools enrichment program for example). I had managed to work my way to the back. I can't recall even particularly liking Robbie and Dean.
Our next door neighbors at that time had two children, Jeff and Michelle. Jeff was three years younger than me. Michelle was about two years older. Jeff and I had been friends but the age difference was becoming pronounced. One day while walking home from the bus, Jeff started making fun of my younger sister who was the same age as Jeff. Now to be honest, I often participated in this activity. I'm her older brother, not a saint.
But today it was really hurting her feelings and something familial stirred in me. I told him to stop. He didn't. So I hit him in the arm. Yet he kept it up. So I punched him in the stomach. Not surprisingly he stopped. And I realized what I had done, basically beat up a little kid. So I did the only thing a big brother does when he has heroically stood up for his little sister. I ran home and started crying to my mother.
Guess who she was sitting around having coffee with. Yep, Jeff's mom. I have no idea what affect this had on their relationship but at least I was crying about it, not bragging. I don't recall being punished by adults over this. My sister was quick to confirm that Jeff had been rather mean to her and all. But the real impact on me was yet to come. Remember what I said about Jeff having an older sister? Well, by this point she was a burner in training. And Robbie and Dean were burner hopefuls. It wasn't long before word was out among the burner grapevine that I was to be shunned by them. And if the burners reject you and you aren't sporty or rich enough, it isn't long before the "cool" kids reject you as well. And that was it, my fate was sealed. No more back of the bus. No more in crowd. Heck, younger kids started realizing my new status in the pecking order and even some of them started hassling me. Especially the ones bigger than me.
Jeff, Michelle, and their family moved away not too long after the punching incident. But the damage would follow me for years. Eventually I managed to get ignored most of the time. I found social circles of similar damaged goods. And the bus became a place to nap if I wasn't stuck sitting in front of someone who might try to hassle or bully me. My senior year I had a car, though I drove to school alone. And by that time I found punk rock and freaked out the cliques by not caring that I wasn't in a clique. And escaping to college. Ahh, college. Maybe that's part of the reason I became a professor. My life was reborn there.
Not surprisingly I haven't made it to any of my high school reunions. Class of 1988 Moon Senior High. Let's see if they somehow track me down through this.
Monday, December 24, 2007
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Dear student:
Sometimes I want to respond to an email and not be diplomatic:
"Dear complaining student,
I realize you were not paying attention when I explained this assignment. Or when I re-explained it. Or when I suggested to the class for the 20th time that if they didn't understand to come to my office hours and I would try to help. With that in mind, the last week of class is probably too late to ask me what you can do to improve your grade. Or if I give extra credit. When you get your first job ask your boss if she gives extra credit. Or your loan officer.
I'm also already aware that you have 7 other finals all due on the same day. And that you work three jobs. Find me a student who doesn't. What you fail to realize is that pretty much every one of your teachers went through the same thing. I worked and put myself through school at the same time. And I'm not so impressed when you complain about having five days to do a take home exam with 4 questions on it. During my PhD I once wrote 36 pages in 72 hours. I also wrote a six chapter dissertation of over 200 pages in six months while starting a new full time tenure track job. (Yes, I'm bragging there a little).
Any professor who decides things are too tough for you because you can't do the same work every other student has to do isn't doing you any favors.
And another thing, I don't grade anybody harsher because I hate them. I don't know any of my students well enough to hate them. Sure, there are a lot that don't make a good impression on me. Perhaps I even dislike them. But I grade on performance, not personality."
Man, did that feel good to write. Sometimes I really wonder why a student thinks their rhetorical approach of insulting or whining is going to work. Did it work on a different professor? I can't believe it did but then again I've also heard some bizarre stories over the years.
I have had times where I didn't perform to my full ability or turned something in late or had a teacher that really sucked. But you know what? I still took responsibility for my actions. Sure, that graduate student had no business teaching Comp Sci 101 but I shouldn't have blown off so many classes or slept so much when I did go. So it was my fault I failed. Actually, I never should have taken the class in the first place but again, my fault for not doing the research about the class or not dropping when I could have. Not crazy graduate student instructor who got mad when I asked for help.
How about you? You ever get a bad grade that wasn't your fault? Not even a little?
Just don't try to tell me you have a 4.0 except that now you're getting a D in my class. We can look that sort of thing up.
"Dear complaining student,
I realize you were not paying attention when I explained this assignment. Or when I re-explained it. Or when I suggested to the class for the 20th time that if they didn't understand to come to my office hours and I would try to help. With that in mind, the last week of class is probably too late to ask me what you can do to improve your grade. Or if I give extra credit. When you get your first job ask your boss if she gives extra credit. Or your loan officer.
I'm also already aware that you have 7 other finals all due on the same day. And that you work three jobs. Find me a student who doesn't. What you fail to realize is that pretty much every one of your teachers went through the same thing. I worked and put myself through school at the same time. And I'm not so impressed when you complain about having five days to do a take home exam with 4 questions on it. During my PhD I once wrote 36 pages in 72 hours. I also wrote a six chapter dissertation of over 200 pages in six months while starting a new full time tenure track job. (Yes, I'm bragging there a little).
Any professor who decides things are too tough for you because you can't do the same work every other student has to do isn't doing you any favors.
And another thing, I don't grade anybody harsher because I hate them. I don't know any of my students well enough to hate them. Sure, there are a lot that don't make a good impression on me. Perhaps I even dislike them. But I grade on performance, not personality."
Man, did that feel good to write. Sometimes I really wonder why a student thinks their rhetorical approach of insulting or whining is going to work. Did it work on a different professor? I can't believe it did but then again I've also heard some bizarre stories over the years.
I have had times where I didn't perform to my full ability or turned something in late or had a teacher that really sucked. But you know what? I still took responsibility for my actions. Sure, that graduate student had no business teaching Comp Sci 101 but I shouldn't have blown off so many classes or slept so much when I did go. So it was my fault I failed. Actually, I never should have taken the class in the first place but again, my fault for not doing the research about the class or not dropping when I could have. Not crazy graduate student instructor who got mad when I asked for help.
How about you? You ever get a bad grade that wasn't your fault? Not even a little?
Just don't try to tell me you have a 4.0 except that now you're getting a D in my class. We can look that sort of thing up.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Guitar Hero
That is why I'm not posting more. Guitar Hero. If you play it, you know the joy it brings.
If you don't, well, what are you waiting for? It is awesome and terrible in its power to addict and enslave. Don't say I didn't warn you. I taught my department head how to play last week. I'll be taking my system in for the last day of lecture in my class on video gaming and she's asked to "observe" the class that day. I'm pretty sure I could talk her into getting it so we can have it around our offices. For research purposes of course.
At this point I'm starting to almost get comfortable with medium difficulty. But I'm still not ready to attempt to tackle hard. Soon hopefully, but not yet. I also really wish Wife would play but she's a little intimidated by it. She's from the Genesis/ Super Nintendo era of controllers. Anything more than three buttons starts to overwhelm her a little. I wish it wasn't so because I'd like to share this with her, but such is life. She is willing to hang out with me and read while I play, something she doesn't do with a lot of other games.
By the way, if you didn't pick up on it in the second paragraph, yes I get paid to talk about and play video games. My job is cool.
If you don't, well, what are you waiting for? It is awesome and terrible in its power to addict and enslave. Don't say I didn't warn you. I taught my department head how to play last week. I'll be taking my system in for the last day of lecture in my class on video gaming and she's asked to "observe" the class that day. I'm pretty sure I could talk her into getting it so we can have it around our offices. For research purposes of course.
At this point I'm starting to almost get comfortable with medium difficulty. But I'm still not ready to attempt to tackle hard. Soon hopefully, but not yet. I also really wish Wife would play but she's a little intimidated by it. She's from the Genesis/ Super Nintendo era of controllers. Anything more than three buttons starts to overwhelm her a little. I wish it wasn't so because I'd like to share this with her, but such is life. She is willing to hang out with me and read while I play, something she doesn't do with a lot of other games.
By the way, if you didn't pick up on it in the second paragraph, yes I get paid to talk about and play video games. My job is cool.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Spooky
An unnamed fast food company (known as "royalty" among ground beef grillers) screwed up Wife's sandwich last night. They included pickles and american cheese and made it a junior sized version of their regular sized hamburger sammich.
So on the plus side it meant I had lunch for today already made for me. After eating it I realized it had an abundance of mayonnaise. It was only then that Wife reminded me of my predictions.
Could the Prophecy be fulfilled? Is this the end of days? Will the world worship me even as it fears me?
Now that would be cool.
So on the plus side it meant I had lunch for today already made for me. After eating it I realized it had an abundance of mayonnaise. It was only then that Wife reminded me of my predictions.
Could the Prophecy be fulfilled? Is this the end of days? Will the world worship me even as it fears me?
Now that would be cool.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Meow
Sorry about the length between posts. I have a bunch of topics, so the next few days should be a whirlwind comparatively. I hope folks are still checking in.
So, to follow up on the next great disaster post, if you guessed a neighborhood semi-feral cat would use one of our scooters as a springboard to jump a fence and in the process rip great holes in one of our 40+ dollar scooter covers, you'd be right. Our neighborhood has a large number of wandering cats. They're semi-domesticated, some more than others. And a large number of them like to hang out in our backyard and sleep under our car. And under our apartment. And walk on our car and leave footprints.
I realize that cats are a common critter in many parts of our country. But down here there are few rivals or predators. No rats big enough to fight back for example. And no winter cold snap to send them for cover. Or kill them or whatever. And little enough traffic so that's not a threat either. So they lounge around our yard. And crap in it from time to time.
This isn't the first time I've had a less than happy interaction with neighborhood cats either. Back a few years I lived in a townhouse. We were in the middle one of a row of five. And there was a space underneath that was about 2 feet deep that ran the entire length of the row. So a feral cat chose to have her liter of kittens down there. My roommate at the time decided we needed to save them. Or adopt one at least. So I stupidly climbed under the townhouse and spent a half an hour sweating underneath, trying not to bang my head and trying to corner one of them even though they were much quicker and more agile than I was. I finally gave up. Twenty minutes later they were on the back porch and I managed to throw a towel over one and scoop it up. I am well aware of how stupid this is, thank you. Not surprisingly it came out angry and defensive, all claws and hissing and teeth. And that tiny, tiny little bastard wiggled free and clamped down on my thumb hard enough to bite through the nail.
I had to physically shake it off cause it did not want to let go. Amazingly enough, it didn't draw blood due to the angle of the bite even though it was near the bed. That was some comfort but let me tell you if you've never had an animal bite through your thumb nail, it really hurts.
Don't get me wrong, I like cats. We have one of our own after all. But I also don't try so hard to keep the dog from chasing them away any more. Hey, I don't see the one who ripped up my cover coming forward to apologize or chip in to help replace it.
So, to follow up on the next great disaster post, if you guessed a neighborhood semi-feral cat would use one of our scooters as a springboard to jump a fence and in the process rip great holes in one of our 40+ dollar scooter covers, you'd be right. Our neighborhood has a large number of wandering cats. They're semi-domesticated, some more than others. And a large number of them like to hang out in our backyard and sleep under our car. And under our apartment. And walk on our car and leave footprints.
I realize that cats are a common critter in many parts of our country. But down here there are few rivals or predators. No rats big enough to fight back for example. And no winter cold snap to send them for cover. Or kill them or whatever. And little enough traffic so that's not a threat either. So they lounge around our yard. And crap in it from time to time.
This isn't the first time I've had a less than happy interaction with neighborhood cats either. Back a few years I lived in a townhouse. We were in the middle one of a row of five. And there was a space underneath that was about 2 feet deep that ran the entire length of the row. So a feral cat chose to have her liter of kittens down there. My roommate at the time decided we needed to save them. Or adopt one at least. So I stupidly climbed under the townhouse and spent a half an hour sweating underneath, trying not to bang my head and trying to corner one of them even though they were much quicker and more agile than I was. I finally gave up. Twenty minutes later they were on the back porch and I managed to throw a towel over one and scoop it up. I am well aware of how stupid this is, thank you. Not surprisingly it came out angry and defensive, all claws and hissing and teeth. And that tiny, tiny little bastard wiggled free and clamped down on my thumb hard enough to bite through the nail.
I had to physically shake it off cause it did not want to let go. Amazingly enough, it didn't draw blood due to the angle of the bite even though it was near the bed. That was some comfort but let me tell you if you've never had an animal bite through your thumb nail, it really hurts.
Don't get me wrong, I like cats. We have one of our own after all. But I also don't try so hard to keep the dog from chasing them away any more. Hey, I don't see the one who ripped up my cover coming forward to apologize or chip in to help replace it.
Friday, November 9, 2007
When it rains, it punches you in the mouth
I think that's how that cliche goes. Something like that.
At least that's the way it feels around the old homestead right now. Wife has broken leg. We had to take her for more check ups today. The Ultrasound revealed she didn't have a blood clot. Just pain. So that's sort of good. Except she's still uncomfortable. And we have a CT scheduled for next week to find out if she needs surgery.
On the way there we learned the noise I was suspicious the car was making is in fact some sort of rubbing/grinding coming from the transmission or drive train or something. Something expensive I'm sure. Something I can't afford to fix on a car I was hoping to pay down for another six months so we can get close to value on a trade in. At this point with this noise and the banged in door from a hit and run I'm going to have to eat around three thousand bucks that will get folded in to the value of whatever I trade it in on.
And Wife's scooter is having trouble. Hopefully that will only be a few hundred bucks to fix. Plus my PDA isn't really working in any truly useful way. And my digital camera broke. While my parents were visiting. I have next to no pictures from their trip. My scooter may be leaking oil. And all of this means no money to repair my vintage motorcycle.
Part of me is wondering what else will be dished out. So I'm predicting the next disaster:
-Cobra in my underwear drawer
-Visigoth attack
-Iceberg
-Religious cult decides I am the evil one they are required to stop but only by mayonnaise based methods
-People magazine singles me out as one of America's least sexy males
-East Timor claims our bedroom as their sovereign territory
-Cat suffers genetic mutation, takes over world, refuses to loan me money
-Mr T decides I am fool but refuses to pity me claiming excessive jibber-jabber
-Unwanted pregnancy for Dog, despite the fact she's spayed
-Mum-ra
Which do you think will happen? Or suggest your own possible thing I need to be worrying about that I'm not.
At least that's the way it feels around the old homestead right now. Wife has broken leg. We had to take her for more check ups today. The Ultrasound revealed she didn't have a blood clot. Just pain. So that's sort of good. Except she's still uncomfortable. And we have a CT scheduled for next week to find out if she needs surgery.
On the way there we learned the noise I was suspicious the car was making is in fact some sort of rubbing/grinding coming from the transmission or drive train or something. Something expensive I'm sure. Something I can't afford to fix on a car I was hoping to pay down for another six months so we can get close to value on a trade in. At this point with this noise and the banged in door from a hit and run I'm going to have to eat around three thousand bucks that will get folded in to the value of whatever I trade it in on.
And Wife's scooter is having trouble. Hopefully that will only be a few hundred bucks to fix. Plus my PDA isn't really working in any truly useful way. And my digital camera broke. While my parents were visiting. I have next to no pictures from their trip. My scooter may be leaking oil. And all of this means no money to repair my vintage motorcycle.
Part of me is wondering what else will be dished out. So I'm predicting the next disaster:
-Cobra in my underwear drawer
-Visigoth attack
-Iceberg
-Religious cult decides I am the evil one they are required to stop but only by mayonnaise based methods
-People magazine singles me out as one of America's least sexy males
-East Timor claims our bedroom as their sovereign territory
-Cat suffers genetic mutation, takes over world, refuses to loan me money
-Mr T decides I am fool but refuses to pity me claiming excessive jibber-jabber
-Unwanted pregnancy for Dog, despite the fact she's spayed
-Mum-ra
Which do you think will happen? Or suggest your own possible thing I need to be worrying about that I'm not.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
I abide and I endure
We watched The Night of the Hunter last night together, hence the title. Wife is trapped in bed so I took advantage of it and her desire to hang out with me to get her to watch movies that I love. And that was on TCM. Amazing movie, I highly recommend it.
Right now I feel a little like that's what I'm doing right now, abiding and enduring. I feel a little ragged having to take care of everything in the household and everything work related at the same time. I'm busy enough with teaching, grading, getting ready for end of semester and prepping for next semester. I'm also handling advising for students on top of that. And then there's taking care of the dog. I need to go to the laundromat last week and still haven't been.
And that's enough whining about how hard my life is.
In other news, with the clock change by 6:30 it's pitch dark outside. Okay, we do live in a neighborhood with a lot less street lights than the old one. But that doesn't change when the sun goes down. But what makes it even more weird is how comfortable it still is outside. We're having the coldest days since we moved here. And it's still in the 60s and even 70s. So it feels partially to me like its February with how early it gets dark. But on the other it still feels almost summer like. Throw in Christmas commercials starting up and I have no idea what time of year it is supposed to be like.
I'm hearing that some of you out there are already getting snow flurries. 70 degrees in November makes it a lot easier to abide and endure.
Right now I feel a little like that's what I'm doing right now, abiding and enduring. I feel a little ragged having to take care of everything in the household and everything work related at the same time. I'm busy enough with teaching, grading, getting ready for end of semester and prepping for next semester. I'm also handling advising for students on top of that. And then there's taking care of the dog. I need to go to the laundromat last week and still haven't been.
And that's enough whining about how hard my life is.
In other news, with the clock change by 6:30 it's pitch dark outside. Okay, we do live in a neighborhood with a lot less street lights than the old one. But that doesn't change when the sun goes down. But what makes it even more weird is how comfortable it still is outside. We're having the coldest days since we moved here. And it's still in the 60s and even 70s. So it feels partially to me like its February with how early it gets dark. But on the other it still feels almost summer like. Throw in Christmas commercials starting up and I have no idea what time of year it is supposed to be like.
I'm hearing that some of you out there are already getting snow flurries. 70 degrees in November makes it a lot easier to abide and endure.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Gimme some candy
Happy Halloween everyone. In some ways this has become my favorite holiday. I mean it is hard to top Christmas cause you get presents and maybe that family and friends aspect. And Valentine's day is the anniversary of when me and Wife started dating so that's much more important.
But come on, Halloween you get to play dress up and hopefully get candy. Not from me because I turn off lights and hide from the doorbell (much easier to do in Chicago where many kids only trick or treat in their building). Dress up! Candy! Too cool.
Possibly my best costume ever was the year I went as Vanilla Ice. Wish I had a digital scan so you could witness the majesty. For it was majestic. I even shaved my eyebrow which took days to grow back. For I am willing to sacrifice to make people laugh.
Now I just enjoy one day a year where I get to dress even more casually for class. One of the perks of being a professor is that I get to wear sneakers every day if I want to. And believe me, I want to. But for Halloween I take it a step further and drag out my Misfits skull shirt and other such accessories. I also throw on a cool sports coat cause I'm not a slob after all.
This year the sports coat is a bit warm though. It's still in the low 80s today. I can remember wearing costumes as a kid with a winter coat over it. This year I could wear shorts. Much better. It just doesn't feel or smell much like fall. But the candy still tastes as good.
As a bit of a PS for anyone who reads my blog but not the Wife's, she broke her leg on Monday. Expect a post down the road where I detail what my life as become as caretaker for an invalid.
But come on, Halloween you get to play dress up and hopefully get candy. Not from me because I turn off lights and hide from the doorbell (much easier to do in Chicago where many kids only trick or treat in their building). Dress up! Candy! Too cool.
Possibly my best costume ever was the year I went as Vanilla Ice. Wish I had a digital scan so you could witness the majesty. For it was majestic. I even shaved my eyebrow which took days to grow back. For I am willing to sacrifice to make people laugh.
Now I just enjoy one day a year where I get to dress even more casually for class. One of the perks of being a professor is that I get to wear sneakers every day if I want to. And believe me, I want to. But for Halloween I take it a step further and drag out my Misfits skull shirt and other such accessories. I also throw on a cool sports coat cause I'm not a slob after all.
This year the sports coat is a bit warm though. It's still in the low 80s today. I can remember wearing costumes as a kid with a winter coat over it. This year I could wear shorts. Much better. It just doesn't feel or smell much like fall. But the candy still tastes as good.
As a bit of a PS for anyone who reads my blog but not the Wife's, she broke her leg on Monday. Expect a post down the road where I detail what my life as become as caretaker for an invalid.
Friday, October 26, 2007
One more thing about Convocation
I forgot to mention that pretty much every woman who won a service award had her status as a wonderful mother mentioned. When the men were introduced, not one was described as being a wonderful father. They had important careers and hobbies instead I guess.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Pomp and ..... more pomp.
Yesterday was the official Convocation at my new school. One of the definitions of convocation is "a collective noun for eagles." This was not one a grouping of eagles. That would have been cool though. I bet the students would have enjoyed it more. Attendance was mandatory for faculty and for students who intend to graduate this year.
For those of you unfamiliar with this type of convocation, probably because you were able to skip it at your school, it is an official calling together of people for a special purpose. Some schools call their commencements convocations, some have them at the beginning of the year so they can prepare for what is to come, some at the end of the year to celebrate what was accomplished. We had ours in the middle of the fall semester, to signify ... uhm, something. Maybe it was so we didn't have to wear our regalia in August.
That was the best part of the whole show, getting to throw on my regalia. I skipped my PhD hooding ceremony because it was on my birthday and so was our favorite scooter rally of the year. Which would you have done on your birthday, partied with friends or worn a gown in front of a room full of people you might have contempt for (I have some issues with some of the folks at Northwestern. It's a love/hate thing)? So this was my first time to wear the full Doctoral robes. I looked pimp. Northwestern graduates get special gowns that are purple with black velvet accents. Almost everyone else was in black.
The downside, I was lined up with people I don't know yet so no one really to talk to during the actual ceremony. We opened with a prayer and closed with one plus three of the four songs sang had religious overtones. This is not a religious school. Technically. And the speeches were pretty boring. I'm pretty sure the wife slept through a lot of it. It was a lot of empty ceremony and I'm not sure who is supposed to actually enjoy it. Outside of the folks getting to make the speeches perhaps.
Still, there is importance in creating community and togetherness. Even if that togetherness is created by getting the faculty together to bitch about having to get together. And did I mention, I looked pimp?
For those of you unfamiliar with this type of convocation, probably because you were able to skip it at your school, it is an official calling together of people for a special purpose. Some schools call their commencements convocations, some have them at the beginning of the year so they can prepare for what is to come, some at the end of the year to celebrate what was accomplished. We had ours in the middle of the fall semester, to signify ... uhm, something. Maybe it was so we didn't have to wear our regalia in August.
That was the best part of the whole show, getting to throw on my regalia. I skipped my PhD hooding ceremony because it was on my birthday and so was our favorite scooter rally of the year. Which would you have done on your birthday, partied with friends or worn a gown in front of a room full of people you might have contempt for (I have some issues with some of the folks at Northwestern. It's a love/hate thing)? So this was my first time to wear the full Doctoral robes. I looked pimp. Northwestern graduates get special gowns that are purple with black velvet accents. Almost everyone else was in black.
The downside, I was lined up with people I don't know yet so no one really to talk to during the actual ceremony. We opened with a prayer and closed with one plus three of the four songs sang had religious overtones. This is not a religious school. Technically. And the speeches were pretty boring. I'm pretty sure the wife slept through a lot of it. It was a lot of empty ceremony and I'm not sure who is supposed to actually enjoy it. Outside of the folks getting to make the speeches perhaps.
Still, there is importance in creating community and togetherness. Even if that togetherness is created by getting the faculty together to bitch about having to get together. And did I mention, I looked pimp?
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