I am a huge nerd

I prepared this for my first day of Principles of Cinema but I didn't finish re-editing it in time for the first class. I'm not sure if I have the guts to actually recite it but maybe, just maybe....

Ladies and gentlemen? Ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much for attending with us this morning. Now, I've traveled across half our campus to be here and to see about this class. Now, I daresay some of you might have heard some of the more extravagant rumors about what my plans are; I just thought you'd like to hear it from me. This is the face. There's no great mystery. I'm a Media Professor, ladies and gentlemen. I have numerous classes spread across this campus. I have many classes flowing at many credit hours per day. I like to think of myself as a Media Professor. As a Media Professor, I hope that you'll forgive just good old fashioned plain-speaking.

Now, this work that we do is very much a family enterprise- I work side by side with my wonderful students - I think one or two of you might have met me already. And I encourage my students to bring their questions, as well. Of course it makes for an ever so much more rewarding life for them. Questions means answers. Answers means education. So wherever we set up class, education is a necessity, and we're just so happy to take care of that. So let's build a wonderful class in St Augustine. Those answers are the future that we strive for and so they should have the very best of things. Now something else, and please don't be insulted if I speak about this - cinema. Let's talk about cinema. Now to my mind, its an abomination to consider that any man, woman or child in this magnificent country of ours should have to look upon going to the movies as a luxury.

We're going to study mise en scene here. Mise en scene means composition, composition means choices. We're going to analyze subtext here where before it just simply was impossible. You're going to have more subtext than you'll know what to do with. Cinema will be coming right out of your ears, ma'am. New ideas. Theory. Employment, education. These are just a few of the things we can offer you, and I assure you ladies and gentlemen, that if we do find meaning here, and I think there's a very good chance that we will, this class of yours' will not only pass, it will flourish.