The joys of pet ownership

Wife left for work while I was upstairs in the bathroom taking care of business, if you know what I mean. I could hear the sound of plastic rustling shortly thereafter. I knew one or both of the critters was up to now good. Possibly they were even working in cahoots.

I called Dog's name. Normally she drags herself upstairs just in case I'm calling her for a good reason. Today, nothing. I called again. Pause in the rustling. Then it continues.

I finish and head downstairs. Dog comes running up to me as if I have been away for years. Now this is not too far off from normal behavior but she was overselling it considering she didn't show up when called.

It is at that point that I notice the bag of candy on the floor. I walk up to it. Dog follows and tries to act surprised.

If she could talk I imagine it would sound something like this, "How did that get there? You should pick it up before someone figures out how to rip it open and get to the yummy, yummy goodness contained inside.... By the way, any thoughts on how someone without thumbs would rip it open? I'm just curious. Not for me of course, the cat was asking."

The bag was still intact though a little wet with slobber. Dog then changed tactics and acted like sleeping on the couch was all that she cared about in this world. Since no one was caught in the act, no punishment was given out at this time.