What must the neighbors think?

Yes, yes, I'm back after family visiting. Blog post to follow on that one. But in the mean time, here's a little New Year Day story for you.

Wife took Dog out for a last pee before bed. And then came back in very upset. It seemed Dog found something interesting to smell. A dead rat. It's the second one that has been found in our back yard in the last few weeks. And might explain the sounds of cat screaming we heard earlier.

This is understandably upsetting and gross. We don't want Dog trying to play with it again and it would probably be best if it wasn't left out to attract flies or other critters. I go out and get the shovel.

A quick survey makes me realize that the front yard by the street has ample light and very soft sandy soil to dig in. So I carry the corpse up there and find a decent spot to go to work. One shallow grave later and the rat is hopefully entombed. A quick pat down of the dirt and I look up to see a middle age African American woman walking down the street.

"Happy new year" she says. I respond in kind. It was very neighborly. But part of me does wonder what she was thinking to see some tattooed guy digging a hole in the middle of the night.

I didn't mean to do it

I finished the grading I was going to do last night. Dog sat next to me looking sad since I was ignoring her to get work done. So I said to myself,

"Self, we'll just watch a little TV and give Dog some attention."

TMC was showing The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3. Next thing I realize it's 3:30 in the morning. Yay, 4 and a half hours of sleep.

But how can you say no to the combination of Dog hugs and Robert Shaw?

You don't. Robert Shaw will hurt you if you do.

The joys of pet ownership

Wife left for work while I was upstairs in the bathroom taking care of business, if you know what I mean. I could hear the sound of plastic rustling shortly thereafter. I knew one or both of the critters was up to now good. Possibly they were even working in cahoots.

I called Dog's name. Normally she drags herself upstairs just in case I'm calling her for a good reason. Today, nothing. I called again. Pause in the rustling. Then it continues.

I finish and head downstairs. Dog comes running up to me as if I have been away for years. Now this is not too far off from normal behavior but she was overselling it considering she didn't show up when called.

It is at that point that I notice the bag of candy on the floor. I walk up to it. Dog follows and tries to act surprised.

If she could talk I imagine it would sound something like this, "How did that get there? You should pick it up before someone figures out how to rip it open and get to the yummy, yummy goodness contained inside.... By the way, any thoughts on how someone without thumbs would rip it open? I'm just curious. Not for me of course, the cat was asking."

The bag was still intact though a little wet with slobber. Dog then changed tactics and acted like sleeping on the couch was all that she cared about in this world. Since no one was caught in the act, no punishment was given out at this time.

I got rickrolled

Victims of my pranks: Wife and the official Mom of Professor Matthew. I told Wife I was going to call Mom and tell her we are expecting. Which we are, just a dog not the baby that Mom is highly desirous of us to have. And I was going to tell Mom it was Wife's idea.

So then when I went actually call Mom, Wife said, in a very insistent voice, "You better not tell her it is my idea."

I responded with, "Honey, what day is it?"

To which she replied, "Damn it, you got me too!" and then stomped up the stairs.

I have to admit that I caved pretty quick after I told Mom we were expecting and she asked if it was a baby. I told her that it would be another dog. The funny part was that was the part she didn't believe, it would be a dog not a baby. She had to be told she was not being pranked anymore to realize she was being pranked in the first place. I was told not to do this again because Mom doesn't "enjoy these sort of things."

I suppose you could also say we pranked the dog and cat. They got flea treatment later that night, including a bath for the dog. The cat thanked us for the flea medication by coughing up a hairball (with food bits) the size of a chicken mcnugget right next to me. And that is why you should have hardwood floors if you have pets.

And if you don't know what a rickroll is, then click here. It's pretty informative.