Wednesday, April 1, 2009

I'm so mad that I'm angry

This is not an April Fool's joke.

I've mentioned before that I have a love of Taking of Pelham 123. The original has a great story, low key but tense action, very clever dialogue and an amazing cast of actors. The biggest names though are Walter Malthau and Robert Shaw. It also has Ben Stiller's dad. If you haven't seen it, put it on your netflix and watch it already. Or Robert Shaw will make you regret it.

And tonight what do I see? They're remaking it. And what makes this worse? Robert Shaw is being replaced by John Freaking Travolta. It's not his fault but this just sucks so much ass. You know they're going to replace the low key tension and clever NYC style cynicism and humor with lame action cliches and high impact action. Because who needs clever writing when you can have explosions and car chases?

Get that action beat in, it's been almost ten minutes since something went boom!

So a big old screw you to Hollywood for remaking a movie that so did not need to be remade. Why make something new when you can just redo a movie from the 70s only in a worse version? Fuckers. Think this would happen if Robert Shaw was still alive? Let him tell it in his own words what would happen,

"Now, then, ladies and gentlemen, do you see this gun? It fires 750 rounds of 9-millimeter ammunition per minute. In other words, if all of you simultaneously were to rush me, not a single one of you would get any closer than you are right now. I do hope I've made myself understood."

And that's real.

1 comment:

Andrew said...

That's a favorite of mine as well. I'd expect the remake will ruin it, of course. When I first heard about the remake I too thought I would puke.