A little something for the randy lads

A very good friend of mine has a son that is now a senior in high school. So I asked him if they had had "the talk". He said his son was resistant to such attempts. The old "get embarrassed and then claim you knew all you need to know" routine. So my friend asked if I wanted to have the talk with the son.

Well, why not. I'm a man of the world. Before Wife came in to my life I entertained a few members of the fairer sex. So I compiled a list of things I have learned in my travels. Now I share some of that with you. Perhaps in the comments you might share a bit of your wisdom with the world. Or request further postings of my knowledge.

Heck, perhaps we'll turn this in to a regular thing where I answer questions for the love lorn. I am a professor after all.

Things a young man about town should know:

Theater chicks are hot and are likely to put out due to self-esteem and daddy issues. They are also likely to be insane, often owing to the same issues. Also likely to cheat on you due to needing a lot of approval. Avoid dating, get what you can and then run. Change names if needed. Or your appearance. Heck, just leave town altogether and find a new theater troupe.

And be aware that she's probably slept with every other student, male or female, in the theater department. And maybe some of the professors.

Art girls can be hot but might have desire to inflict wounds on themselves and others. Monitor their moods and their drug use.

Avoid women stronger than you. Unless you're in to that sort of thing, if you know what I mean. In which case invest in a good first aid kit. And learn how to untie ropes or hide a small cutting tool near the headboard.

If a woman enjoys it the first time she's more likely to come around for a second time.

Try not to be that guy who is "the friend." If a woman ever tells you she wishes she could find a guy just like you and she isn't trying to get you to cheat on your girlfriend, then she has zero interest in having sex with you. Being there for her every time she breaks up with another loser named Chad who treated her like crap will not increase your chances that she'll finally realize you are perfect for her.

Avoid being someone's wingman unless you find yourself attracted to girls with plenty of "personality" or "good hearts". If you secretly have a fondness for that type of lady, your cup will runneth over in life. Big girls put out. And are often incredibly freaky.

Follow some of this advice and in no time you will be quite the "hit" with the "ladies"