Hopping down the bunny trail

Many schools have famous alumni that are known across the country and world and help raise the credibility of their former institutions. These alumni are celebrated and promoted.

My current place of employment has a current student who is known across the country and it maybe the world. Well, her name isn't known. But her body and her nickname are. You may know her as Miss June. Yes, my school has a Playboy bunny.

Amazingly enough the administration is not trying that hard to celebrate this accomplishment. Go figure.

She is currently taking a media writing class and as part of that class had to write a magazine article. It could be argued that this isn't a true use of her unique skill set, putting her behind the scenes and not in the centerfold. But it is what it is. And for her magazine article she was assigned to interview the new Media professor. That would be me. Technically speaking I'm also a New Media professor. But I digress.

So I can actually claim till my dying day that a Playboy bunny once emailed me wanting to spend time alone with me. I will probably only make such claims while drinking however.

Prior to the interview Wife suggested I ask for an autographed copy of her issue. We soon realized that it would come off as way too creepy Uncle. Also I wanted to treat the interview seriously and the thought that I had seen her "cotton tail" would not help me with that. (Other euphemisms considered and rejected include "yum-yum patch" and "goodie basket")

Okay, first things first. The obvious. She was much smaller than I expected. Shorter and tinier. She also seemed to have more hair than the average person. Thicker somehow. Maybe it was extensions. But what I realized is how odd a crap shoot genetics is. How the right dominant genes have to come together in just the right way to create the right skin and bone structure.

I also really realized what a temporary thing beauty is though. If she's lucky and takes care of her self maybe she'll be one of those women who continue to remain pretty their whole life. On the other hand if I avoid major head trauma I'll probably remain smart without having to really do jack squat. I get to eat bacon and not feel guilt. Score one for brains over beauty.

During the interview the subject of pornography did come up. One of the truths of modern technology is how much porn has pushed many aspects of it. Home VCRs, especially VHS and DVDs, streaming video, pay per view. I could go on. Really, up until High Def. Because some things you do NOT want to see in High Def.

I also found out that Hef has a lap table that he uses to turn his bed in to an office. I have to admit that I wish I could spend all day in pyjamas and work from my bed. Not that I really put that much effort in to my wardrobe. And I do a lot of grading on the futon in the spare bedroom. How about that, I'm like a low budget Hef. Just with a lot fewer half naked co-eds around me while I work. He has many. I have none.

The one missed opportunity was being able to seriously ask her about why she did it. I mean I know all the cliches. "Blah, blah, blah, empowering, control of my body, liberated, pays well, exposure that I can use in my career, blah blah." But I study gender portrayals in the media. I'm aware of feminist theory. I hear my female friends complain about being treated like objects. And here is a young woman volunteering to be treated like an object, asking to be reduced to her body. How does she really feel? How does she deal with the knowledge that the guy she just met might have seen her naked and mentally views her as just a collection of parts?

How does she really feel about the creepy Uncles?

And even more important, is she going to write a good article about me? That's what is truly important after all.