Dirty confession

My name is Professor Matthew and I have a problem.

I want one of almost every motorcycle and scooter in the world. Or at least one of all the cool ones.

Well, maybe not that bad but I do want a whole lot more than I have. Or that I can afford. Which is partially funny if you know me because I can get paranoid about money. I've been poor from time to time since I've left home. Never destitute but praying I get paid enough that I can cover rent/eating ramen noodles or peanut butter and jelly for all my meals that I don't get for free from my food service job poor. So often I get a little scared that I'm going to come up short. It makes my wife a little stressed when I get stressed. (In my defense, there are times when she isn't stressed enough but that's not the point right now). But I have a weakness for three main things. Shoes, tattoos, and motorized bikes. If you're careful, two of those three aren't really that much of a burden. My just considering a bike once caused my wife to have a breakdown in an Olive Garden.

For those who don't know, different bikes can fulfill different roles. Some are great for getting around urban areas, some are great for long distance riding, some are great for riding two up with a friend or wife (or whomever you would prefer to ride two up with, I'm not here to judge. Unless you don't want to ride at all, in which case you're a dirty communist and you make baby kitties cry). And some just look amazing. Actually a lot look amazing and again in different ways.

To be honest (and what's the point of lying about this anyway?), the only types of bikes I don't want one of are giant cruisers or giant sports bikes. I don't need to go 200 mph and I don't need a bike so large it can't be lifted again if it tips over. But I can come up with all sorts of justifications for why I need a bigger scooter (sometimes I want to ride on the interstate) and a new Triumph Bonneville or Scrambler (classic bike looks with modern bike technology!) and another vintage bike (just look at a 60s or early 70s Honda CB and tell me that isn't cool).

To put it in perspective, I currently have one really nice scooter and one 1966 Honda. And the wife has a nice scooter that I'm paying for so if she leaves me she has to give it back or buy it off me. We've had as many as 5 at the same time. It's not like I can ride more than one bike at a time. And my current vintage motorcycle needs some work anyway. I really should just concentrate on that and get it running again. Then it will be like I have a new bike again. At least for a little while till I have to fight off the urge again.